Monday, March 24, 2008

Basa yang terlalu basi

Hari ini gue kuliah sore, jam 17:20. Tapi, seperti biasa gue baru jalan jam 5 lewat. Teladan sekali bukan? Oke. Gue itu juga harus ngisi bensin motor gue dulu, dan bodohnya lagi. Gue baru nyadar, kalo gue ga nyimpen duit di dompet gue. Mau ga mau, gue harus ke ATM. Untung ATMnya ada di pom bensin, deket rumah gue.

Akhirnya, gue berangkat. Jalanan udah mulai macet sama orang yang baru pada pulang kerja. Udah kaya batman aja gue, orang pulang, gue baru brangkat, baru mulai aktifitas. Sampenya di pom bensin, gue langsung ngarahin si belalang tempur gue ke arah ATM. 'Kayanya ngantri tuh', pikir gue, ngeliat ada 3 mobil di depan ATM. Gue langsung ngarahin motor gue ke sela-sela mobil-mobil itu. Pas gue mau brenti, gue liat ada cewe pake kaos putih sama celana yang cukup pendek berwarna merah di depan ATM.

Setelah gue perhatiin, ternyata temen SMA gue! Sial! Sebenernya sih ga apa-apa. Tapi, masalahnya, gue lupa nama tu orang. Haduh! Gimana ini? Yang gue inget tu cewek dulu dapet julukan pantat, karena emang pantatnya yang mundur ke belakang. Mo sok asik nyapa, kan gue lupa namanya. Masa gue manggilnya "Tat, tat, apa kabar pantat lo?". --'

Akhirnya, gue sok-sok markir motor gue rada lamaan sambil nginget-nginget namanya. Dan baru kali ini gue brenti buat ke ATM naek motor sampe pake standart 2 buat parkir. Wasting time lah. Abis gue masang tu standart motor gue, gue masih belom inget juga namanya, SIAL! Akhirnya, gue lama-lamain buka helm, garuk-garuk kepala, naro helm di jok dengan gerakan yang amat sangat lambat. Lucky me! Gue inget namanya! Her name is Anggi.

Gue jalan ke depan ATM, "Anggi!", sapa gue. Si Anggi yang lagi bengong mikirin sesuatu, mungkin dia juga sempet liat gue pas naro helm, trus mungkin dia lupa juga nama gue, makanya dia mikir siapa nama gue.

"Eh...", katanya. Abis itu langsung dia ngadep ke atas trus merem.
Kan bener, lupa juga nama gue. Sumpah, paling males gue keadaan kaya gitu. Andaikan gue punya ilmu ngilang, gue langsung ngilang aja dah mendingan biar disangka tadi dia cuma ngigo. Ngigo sore-sore! Dodol!

"Bagus nggi..", akhirnya gue bilang nama gue, daripada dia merem terus sampe besok pagi cuma buat nginget nama gue.

"Oiya Bagus! Darimana lo?", basa basi ga penting dimulai.
"Rumah, mo ke kampus", basa-basi berlanjut. "Sama siapa lo?", gue melanjutkan basa-basi ga penting itu.
"Sama ade gue", sembari menunjuk Yaris merah yang isinya ABG cowok yang lagi ngliatin gue. Mungkin di pikiran dia, gue mau merkosa kakaknya. Sialan! Biar muka gue jahat, tapi hati gue sebening udara!
"Oohh, ngapain lo?", haduh! Bodoh! Makin ga penting! Udah tau dia mo ngambil duit di ATM!
"Ngambil duit", katanya. Kan bener! Buat apa gue nanya itu. "Kampus lo dimana sih?"
"Binus", jawab gue.
"Oohh, yang di itu ya..Apa tu namanya?", dia mulai ngadep atas trus merem lagi, mikir.
"Rawabelong", gue nyadarin dia lagi. Bener-bener basa-basi yang ga penting. Dia pasti tau. Cuma gara-gara under pressure ga tau harus basa-basi gimana lagi sama gue, dia sampe lupa dimana kampus gue.
"Oiya! Kan jauh tu!", katanya
HAH! JAUH! Apa kabar dengan trisakti?! UI?! ITB?! UGM?! OXFORD?! HARVARD?! Dibilang itu deket? Diri gue yang ada di dalem tubuh gue cuma geleng-geleng.
"Ah ga juga ko", gue membela diri. Si Anggi cuma ketawa dikit.
"Lama ya tu orang", kata gue ngalihin pembicaraan. Tapi emang ibu-ibu yang ada di dalem ATM lama bener! Sial! Cepetan! Gue males berbasa-basi ga penting lagi! Tu ibu-ibu akhirnya buka pintu.
"Ko kartu saya ketelen ya?", kata ibu-ibu itu di depan pintu kaca. DENG! Udah ngabisin waktu buat percakapan ga penting! Sekarang ATM ga berfungsi! Makin ga penting gue dateng ke ATM!
"Hah?", si Anggi dengan polosnya cuma bilang kaya gitu. Tapi ibu-ibu itu langsung masuk lagi ke dalem box ATM. 1 menit kemudian. Ibu-ibu itu akhirnya keluar, ngasih tau kalo rada lama buat ngambil duit.

Ga apa-apa deh! Yang penting si pantat, eh maksud gue Anggi, masuk ke ATM! Daripada gue basa-basi ga jelas mending gue sendirian di luar. Akhirnya si Anggi masuk. Finnaly! Sigh!

Gue nunggu di depan pintu, gue liat lagi mobil Anggi. Shit! Adenya masih aja ngeliatin gue. Akhirnya dengan tampang sok manis gue senyumin. Eh! Dia buang muka! Apalagi sekarang yang ada di pikirannya?! Gue homo?! Kampreeeeeeeeeeettttttttttttttt!

"Gus, ko ATMnya lama ya?", tiba-tiba muka dia nongol dari balik pintu kaya orang ngintip.
Lah? Terus? Gue suruh benerin gituh? Ckckckckck. Ternyata setelah disangka pemerkosa+gay sama adenya, gue juga disangka tukang servis ATM sama si Anggi. Abis ini apa lagi? Tukang kredit?

"Hoh?", jawab gue. Dan kejadian ini pun berlanjut seperti ibu-ibu yang tadi. Anggi langsung masuk lagi. Gue dikacangin. Akhirnya dia kluar, dari box kaca itu.
"Bisa nggi?", tanya gue.
"Bisa ko, cuma rada lama aja"
"Sip deh!", fiuhhh!
"Bagus, gue duluan ya", katanya sambil nglambain tangannya.
"Oke-oke!", kata gue sambil bersyukur dalem hati karena masa basa-basi telah selesai.

Akhirnya gue masuk, berharap supaya ni ATM ga lemot, udah jam 17:16! 4 menit lagi kelas gue di kampus udah mulai! Nah! Untungnya, kayanya ni ATM abis liat pantatnya temen gue langsung seger. Ga sampe 1 menit tuh duit udah keluar. Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Hikmah yang gue ambil dari kejadian ini, gue harus afalin nama semua temen gue. Kalo perlu gue liatin satu-satu di buku taunan ato friendster biat gue ga terlalu terjebak dalam basa-basi ga jelas kaya tadi.

Sigh!

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